Why We Are Here
by GardenOfSnow
Summary: During the wait before the Siege of Portland Row, Kipps and Holly have a talk about what being part of Lockwood and Co. means to them. [Friendship, not romance!]


**Author's note:** _When I was reading the book, I literally took a pause after chapter 18, wrote this, and went on reading. So the characters here truly have no idea what the future holds for them. Cool, heh?))_

 _Also, the story's focus is mainly on Kipps because Holly has always been a mystery to me._

…

'Any sight of them?' asked Kipps, peeping from behind the attic door.

'No. Still, it's not past dawn yet.'

Holly was perched on a chair by the window, her eyes surveying the street below. Oddly, she had her notebook in her lap, and the biro in her hand was incessantly moving, scribbling incoherent lines, her eyes never off the street.

Kipps at the door rolled from heel to toe. 'Mind if I join?'

Holy turned her head for a second to give him a brief welcoming smile.

'Sure not. How are things downstairs?'

Kipps strode into the room.

'Well, George shuffled away to the office. To jot down a last minute memoir or a will, I don't know. Lucy is washing the dishes, with her scull watching, and Lockwood is in Jessica's room, probably looking for more Sources.'

'And you?' asked Holly. Or rather, asked Holly's mouth. She didn't exactly seem to be in the room. She was far away, ever further than her gaze went.

Kipps settled down on Lucy's bed — and flinched aside at once.

'Hey, does she store her daggers in here?' He reached beneath the blanket and pulled out the nuisance. 'Oh… Never thought she preferred them with underwire. Hazardous stuff.'

He hurriedly buried his prize back under the blanket, away from where he was sitting.

'Me, I guess, I had nothing to do. So I thought I'd pop up in here.'

Holly's mouth curved into a small smile, as if she saw something funny outside. 'That seems to be the way it always is with you.'

Kipps shrugged. 'Oh, well. And what are you, preparing to draw their portraits?'

As soon as he had said it, he realized that the movement of Holly's biro looked more like the swinging of a tiny sharp rapier in her hand. She blew one last stroke against the paper and promptly put it down.

'It soothes me, if anything.'

Kipps gave a mournful sigh and stretched his arms. 'What would _really_ sooth me is having a reliable plan B and a safe emergency exit. Not just an alternative way to die.'

Holly tilted her head. 'Lockwood and Lucy did it before. Maybe we all can manage?'

'Uh-huh. Maybe being the key word here.' He paused. 'Why didn't we just booby-trap all the entrances with those Sources instead? Might hold them back a great deal.'

Holly shook her head. It was weird talking to her, with her watchful gaze never steering away from its dutiful purpose behind the window pane.

'No,' she said. 'They may have flares with them. If they resorted to flares, they could set the house on fire.' She bit her lip. 'To think of it, they can set the house on fire anyway.'

'Thanks, Holly. That happy thought haven't crossed my mind. Now I feel particularly regaled.'

'What _were_ you thinking about, then?' For just a second Holly turned her gaze away from the road and her piercing dark eyes studied his face as if searching for some kind of… flaw? He couldn't quite put it down.

'As far as possible ways to die go…' he began.

'I didn't ask about that.'

Silence.

'The usual stuff. How I messed up my life and how...' He was about to add something sarcastic and evasive, but stopped abruptly. 'It never occurred to me, but how was it for _you_? Leaving Rotwell's.'

Holly hesitated to answer. 'A relief.'

Kipps huffed. 'Well, no surprise, considering that you had to work for Rotwell himself. Must have been a relief to pack up and flee'.

'He wasn't so charming as Penelope Fittes,' Holly mocked half-heartedly, remembering that one of the people mentioned was dead and the other determined to kill them. 'He was awful, yes. But I did have friends there, you know. People who I didn't want to leave behind.'

Kipps scowled, ignoring the last bit. 'Penelope's charm has long been wasted on me. I haven't thought of her as charming ever since she kicked me out of her agency.'

'She didn't. You quit,' reminded Holly, rubbing her eyes momentarily.

He shrugged. 'It felt like being kicked out anyway.'

She gave him another glance of her piercing eyes.

'You do have friends, you know. That's exactly why we are all here today. Because we all care for each other.'

Kipps swallowed another sarcastic remark and stared out at the orange-tinted sky for a while. 'You know what I was really thinking about?' he said. 'I thought about what it would have been like if my old team were here with us. Them and other good brave agents I used to work with. That would have been wonderful. But now that I left they wouldn't even talk to me.'

Holly sniffed softly. 'Very good of them'.

'Don't be surprised, that's how things at Fittes always were. If you're out, you're out. They have enough sense to obey the rules and have their own careers in mind.' With that he regained his haughty tone. 'I should have probably done the same.'

Holly's perceptive voice cut in. 'But wasn't it worth it?'

'What?'

'Whatever the reason made you leave.'

The sun was dying away outside. Shadows deepened, and darkness was making its way into the small attic room. There was no other way but facing it.

Kipps finally spoke. 'Yes,' he said. 'It was worth it all the way.'

Holly stole another moment to turn her head and give him a broad smile. 'Well, I'm glad you're with us, then. Here at Lockwood and Co things are different.'

Kipps bit his lip. 'Indeed they are. No one is left behind to die.' A smile found its way to his face – a real heartfelt smile that seemed to brighten up the room. 'Here at Lockwood we all die together instead.' He was still beaming. 'And you know what? It feels good.'

'Now you _are_ scaring me,' said Holly, her own smile still twinkling on her lips while she surveyed the street.

'I reckon, it's all Lockwood's influence…' Kipps began, but Holly gave a start and hissed.

'There!' She pointed outside. 'There they are!'

With that, reflecting was over. Now it was fighting — for their own lives and everything else than went with being a just and good person.

…

 **Author's note:** _Here we are! I hope this little thingy was enjoyable. I didn't set the goal to tackle all the moral conflicts and lay out plain simple answers in front of you, so you probably feel like there are more questions then answers.) I kind of hint at Kipps's motives for leaving Fittes but never explore them. I don't believe he left just because he felt useless, I believe he felt Fittes policies were wrong. If you want to read more about this theory of mine, search for "Quill Kipps book 4" on DeviantArt (I can't figure out how to post a link here, huh)._


End file.
